Last night Gavin was put back onto the respirator. The doctors had him on CPAP, which allows Gavin to breath on his own for two hours then the machine would kick in for 2-4 hours. They eventually weaned him and let him go completely on his own. They expected him to have a few bumps with breathing. Whenever he would stop breathing for 10 seconds, or if his breathing slowed for to long, the backup mode of the machine would kick in and it would breath for him. The machine kicked in a little more often than the doctors were hoping throughout the night, and so they put him back on the machine. Again this morning they returned him to CPAP, and he is tolerating it. He was a little more awake and upset this morning, which is what they want. I can't even begin to explain how much it hurts my heart to see my son crying, but no sound can come out because of the tubes. He just looks at me and his eyes well up and his little mouth opens up as much as it can for an attempted wail that never comes.
I had to leave the room, because they are going to excabate him (remove his breathing tube) and monitor his levels closely through the machine and by drawing blood gases to check ph levels. I can't wait to see him without his tubes!! I am hoping for the best, but am not allowing myself to much excitement. It seems every time I get good news about him, we hit a bump. I think I am better off expecting the bumps and being pleasantly surprised when we don't hit one. Thank you all for your continued prayers, texts, calls, and emails. There are NO words to explain how that fills me with hope.
-Sarah
Watch as We Grow!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Little Miracles!
Today, my life is wonderful, and today I am smiling. I cry, but my tears today are happy and joyous and filled with relief. I have my family today. All of my family.
Unknown to us, we had a very sick little boy in our hands. At Gavin's birth, our doctor told us he heard a little bit of a murmer(might have spelled that wrong, but not to worry, because many babies are born with murmers and they usually correct on its own. Gavin's week appointment went well and everything sounded good. We had concerns about his purple feet, and that he could go 7 hours at night without eating. The doctor said the purple feet would correct on its own, and that we needed to work a little harder at waking him for feeding.
Friday, April 24th, Gavin still wasn't eating well(maybe 2-3 min on one side), and wasn't awake but an hour during the day. His last attempt at eating was at 7:00pm and it wasn't a great attempt. I tried my best to wake him througout the night, but even when he woke, he just wouldn't eat. I thought ok, they said that babies can be like this, and he will eat in an hour. At 5:00 am, he began to cry and looked as though he were in pain. I thought maybe a tummy ache and burped and bicycled his legs. Holding him close was the only thing that calmed him. This continued into the afternoon. His breathing seemed to be extremely fast and wierd sounds came from him. Shawn timed his breathing and called the doctor. Shortly after we rushed him to the emergency room. His color was a pale grey and he stared off. The doctors immediatly began working him and let us know his condition was critical and had we not brought him in, his heart would have overworked itself and given out sometime in the night.
Gavin was intibated and put on a breathing machine because his heart was working way to hard. Blood was drawn and IVs were started. Doctors performed a spinal tap to see about certain viruses or bacterial infections. They said he was in critical condition. After being sent to the PICU, we were told he had pneumonia and a bacterial infection. By Monday we saw no improvment, but were told that no improvement was better than his condition worsening. The doctor making the rounds that morning sent his "student" doctor in to check Gavin before he arrived at the hospital. Upon the doctors arrival, he said everything looked fine with Gavin. The student told him she thought she heard a little something with his heart, and so the doctor listened again and ordered an echocardiogram, which would take an ultrasound of his heart. The results were sent to a cardiac specialist. At 8:00 Monday evening, we recieved a call from the doctor stating that the cardiologist noticed a little something with what was sent to him via the computer, and wanted another echo performed. The cardiologist, Dr. Ow would drive from Chicago to perform the echocardiogram himself. Once he arrived and performed the ultrasound, he found a malfunction with Gavins heart. He had a corartation of the aorta, which is the main aortic valve that pumps blood from the left ventricle of the heart to the lungs and organs in the lower body. The valve was completely closed off and blood could not be pumped from his heart out. This explained the purple feet, lack of kidney and intestinal functions, lack of eating and low blood pressure in the legs. The doctor said that his condition was worsening and he would need to be transported to Hope Children's Hospital for open heart surgery. Upon our arrival (2:30 am), the nurses and doctors got to work. Gavin immediatly looked better, the puffy lifeless look was changing to that of my son. I could tell who he was again. The doctors said that had he stayed at Provena, he may have had another day or two to live, because the hospital was treating him for pneumonia, something he did not have.
The doctors started Gavin on a medication (can't recall name, but I wrote it down somewhere!) that would hopefully relax the artery that is open only when the baby is in utero. If the medicine worked, a little blood could get around his closed artery and supply a small amount of blood into his left valve and the lower organs of his body. This would help them to be just a bit stronger for the surgery. Unfortunatly, this intervention did not work for Gavin, and so the needed to get him into surgery immediatly before his organs and heart weakened even more. The surgery was a success, and the change in Gavin's appearance was phenominal! He looked a little stressed out, but so much healthier. We were told that a sack in his lungs collapsed, which would keep him on the breathing machines longer and he would be able to eat 48 hours after the surgery. We were estatic. We were once bug eyed, hunched over, smelly, and stressed, and now were a more relaxed, and smelly couple without the bug eyes. (will continue later)
Unknown to us, we had a very sick little boy in our hands. At Gavin's birth, our doctor told us he heard a little bit of a murmer(might have spelled that wrong, but not to worry, because many babies are born with murmers and they usually correct on its own. Gavin's week appointment went well and everything sounded good. We had concerns about his purple feet, and that he could go 7 hours at night without eating. The doctor said the purple feet would correct on its own, and that we needed to work a little harder at waking him for feeding.
Friday, April 24th, Gavin still wasn't eating well(maybe 2-3 min on one side), and wasn't awake but an hour during the day. His last attempt at eating was at 7:00pm and it wasn't a great attempt. I tried my best to wake him througout the night, but even when he woke, he just wouldn't eat. I thought ok, they said that babies can be like this, and he will eat in an hour. At 5:00 am, he began to cry and looked as though he were in pain. I thought maybe a tummy ache and burped and bicycled his legs. Holding him close was the only thing that calmed him. This continued into the afternoon. His breathing seemed to be extremely fast and wierd sounds came from him. Shawn timed his breathing and called the doctor. Shortly after we rushed him to the emergency room. His color was a pale grey and he stared off. The doctors immediatly began working him and let us know his condition was critical and had we not brought him in, his heart would have overworked itself and given out sometime in the night.
Gavin was intibated and put on a breathing machine because his heart was working way to hard. Blood was drawn and IVs were started. Doctors performed a spinal tap to see about certain viruses or bacterial infections. They said he was in critical condition. After being sent to the PICU, we were told he had pneumonia and a bacterial infection. By Monday we saw no improvment, but were told that no improvement was better than his condition worsening. The doctor making the rounds that morning sent his "student" doctor in to check Gavin before he arrived at the hospital. Upon the doctors arrival, he said everything looked fine with Gavin. The student told him she thought she heard a little something with his heart, and so the doctor listened again and ordered an echocardiogram, which would take an ultrasound of his heart. The results were sent to a cardiac specialist. At 8:00 Monday evening, we recieved a call from the doctor stating that the cardiologist noticed a little something with what was sent to him via the computer, and wanted another echo performed. The cardiologist, Dr. Ow would drive from Chicago to perform the echocardiogram himself. Once he arrived and performed the ultrasound, he found a malfunction with Gavins heart. He had a corartation of the aorta, which is the main aortic valve that pumps blood from the left ventricle of the heart to the lungs and organs in the lower body. The valve was completely closed off and blood could not be pumped from his heart out. This explained the purple feet, lack of kidney and intestinal functions, lack of eating and low blood pressure in the legs. The doctor said that his condition was worsening and he would need to be transported to Hope Children's Hospital for open heart surgery. Upon our arrival (2:30 am), the nurses and doctors got to work. Gavin immediatly looked better, the puffy lifeless look was changing to that of my son. I could tell who he was again. The doctors said that had he stayed at Provena, he may have had another day or two to live, because the hospital was treating him for pneumonia, something he did not have.
The doctors started Gavin on a medication (can't recall name, but I wrote it down somewhere!) that would hopefully relax the artery that is open only when the baby is in utero. If the medicine worked, a little blood could get around his closed artery and supply a small amount of blood into his left valve and the lower organs of his body. This would help them to be just a bit stronger for the surgery. Unfortunatly, this intervention did not work for Gavin, and so the needed to get him into surgery immediatly before his organs and heart weakened even more. The surgery was a success, and the change in Gavin's appearance was phenominal! He looked a little stressed out, but so much healthier. We were told that a sack in his lungs collapsed, which would keep him on the breathing machines longer and he would be able to eat 48 hours after the surgery. We were estatic. We were once bug eyed, hunched over, smelly, and stressed, and now were a more relaxed, and smelly couple without the bug eyes. (will continue later)
Monday, April 20, 2009
Overjoyed!
If those words could only begin to describe it! Yes, it is stressful going from one to two and balancing day to day tasks, but a little organization and grounding never hurt anyone:) It will come in time. For now, we are enjoying this.
I went to my doctors appointment Wednesday with the hopes of being in labor. I woke at 5:30 am not quite feeling right. Turned out, I was in labor, and having contractions 1-2 min. apart. We were sent to the hospital where those close contractions went to 8-12 min apart, and eventually...even with power walking the halls of the hospital all throughout the night, became irregular. In the morning the doctor came in looking for a decision...VBAC or c-section. Shawn and I decided to go home and wait it out.
We went out for breakfast and I ate! Shortly after getting home, I lost my plug and began contractions again. I was waiting until I couldn't stand it! At 4:00, we headed back to the hospital, and boy what a ride!! I could only imagine what I looked like to the people next to us! We got to the hospital and all the nurses remembered me,or heard about me through the chatter line. "Oh, your the walker". My water was broke around 6:00pm and by 12:35 our son was born.
The feeling of being able to accomplish what I wanted is immeasureable. I can't believe I almost let go of it, and gave in.
Gavin Michael looks a lot like Easton, with a hint of his mommy. He is very mild mannered just like Easton was, and doesn't cry much at all(fingers are crossed!)
Easton has done a great job transitioning and is IN LOVE with his brother. He makes sure all visitors are washing their hands. He gets a little jealous every now and then, and shows it by whinning. We are trying our best to not make him feel left out.
The pictures below show Shawn and I leaving for the hospital for the second time(hence the 2 fingers), Gavin and Easton, and just Gavin.
I went to my doctors appointment Wednesday with the hopes of being in labor. I woke at 5:30 am not quite feeling right. Turned out, I was in labor, and having contractions 1-2 min. apart. We were sent to the hospital where those close contractions went to 8-12 min apart, and eventually...even with power walking the halls of the hospital all throughout the night, became irregular. In the morning the doctor came in looking for a decision...VBAC or c-section. Shawn and I decided to go home and wait it out.
We went out for breakfast and I ate! Shortly after getting home, I lost my plug and began contractions again. I was waiting until I couldn't stand it! At 4:00, we headed back to the hospital, and boy what a ride!! I could only imagine what I looked like to the people next to us! We got to the hospital and all the nurses remembered me,or heard about me through the chatter line. "Oh, your the walker". My water was broke around 6:00pm and by 12:35 our son was born.
The feeling of being able to accomplish what I wanted is immeasureable. I can't believe I almost let go of it, and gave in.
Gavin Michael looks a lot like Easton, with a hint of his mommy. He is very mild mannered just like Easton was, and doesn't cry much at all(fingers are crossed!)
Easton has done a great job transitioning and is IN LOVE with his brother. He makes sure all visitors are washing their hands. He gets a little jealous every now and then, and shows it by whinning. We are trying our best to not make him feel left out.
The pictures below show Shawn and I leaving for the hospital for the second time(hence the 2 fingers), Gavin and Easton, and just Gavin.
Welcoming our Newest addition! It's a Boy!
Welcome to the world little one! Gavin Michael Toso was born at 12:35am on Friday, April 17th! Mommy delivered a successful VBAC (only 12 pushes!!). Here are some pictures and a video(Shawn would kill me if he knew, but it's too sweet not to), and when I find a bit more free time, a longer post will follow! Everyone is doing great, and we are excited to be home plus one!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Anxiously Awaiting our Arrival
Tip-toeing up to the final day, I find myself constantly second guessing the decision I make in regards to the baby(VBAC/C-Section). Had I chosen the c-section, baby would have arrived on April 7th and I would have been a week into recovery. Now, we sit and wait for the baby to be ready:) Problem comes if the baby isn't ready by Tuesday. I have an ultra-sound schedule for Wednesday, and a few tests. As of Wednesday, I set up the c-section, and no longer get the option of delivering. I thought I was in control of the decision, but am slowly figuring out that I am not in charge:) On the upside, if the baby doesn't come by Tuesday, it will be neat to see an ultra sound of a baby at 40+ weeks!
Easton has been quite the trouble maker latley(hense why there have been no posts!). He's not a bad kid by any means, just pushing the limits with mom and dad in regards to everything lately. Bed time is a debate, eating is a debate, picking up and even going places can turn into debates Please, please, please let this be the terrible 2's and 3's!
Aside from that, I can say that half stinker child of ours is the most caring and lovable thing you will ever meet(maybe a slight manipulator, but hey, that may get him far some day!!). Easton can walk into a room (especially with older women) and have them eating out of his hand in minutes. He knows just what to say, and how to look in order to get what he wants from a situation.....hmmm...could that be why mom and dad are in so deep??? Easton is constantly telling me he loves me, and always hugs me. He will stop in the middle of play several times to do so. If I am getting ready to go somewhere, he makes certain to say, "Hi pretty lady", or "mommy, your budaful", which melts my heart. He most often will thank us for taking him somewhere or tell us he had a great time without us having to remind him.
I will post some recent pics of us all, and hopefully be updating VERY soon with the news of baby!
Easton has been quite the trouble maker latley(hense why there have been no posts!). He's not a bad kid by any means, just pushing the limits with mom and dad in regards to everything lately. Bed time is a debate, eating is a debate, picking up and even going places can turn into debates Please, please, please let this be the terrible 2's and 3's!
Aside from that, I can say that half stinker child of ours is the most caring and lovable thing you will ever meet(maybe a slight manipulator, but hey, that may get him far some day!!). Easton can walk into a room (especially with older women) and have them eating out of his hand in minutes. He knows just what to say, and how to look in order to get what he wants from a situation.....hmmm...could that be why mom and dad are in so deep??? Easton is constantly telling me he loves me, and always hugs me. He will stop in the middle of play several times to do so. If I am getting ready to go somewhere, he makes certain to say, "Hi pretty lady", or "mommy, your budaful", which melts my heart. He most often will thank us for taking him somewhere or tell us he had a great time without us having to remind him.
I will post some recent pics of us all, and hopefully be updating VERY soon with the news of baby!
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